Que sera sera

I am sorfid.
yes fid.

I have no place to put things like emotions and care, so i use them for sarcasm. Simple Pimple.

yoi.
Some people just don't get sarcasm. It's like "wow you must be a genius" is suddenly something their mom used to say to them.

Listen shithead - if you can figure out which ways the bolts unscrew - you can't be very smart. Mensa doesn't want someone who needs a tip calculator.
That's the physics of that.

Tho' when one has been sarcastic most of one's life, it can be hard for one to unhinge from this pattern of all-encompassing sarcasm - that tries to swallow people whole. That look of mingled fear and dislike on people's faces is so weird.

Sometimes I think my friends may be saying hello to avoid escalation.
Escalation? I must be watching too much SVU. Gosh I love me my Stabler and Benson.

oh what to do? what to do? I think i'll wait for the shit to hit the fan - which it will. Then I will use all this saved up frustration to binge on Harry Potter and turn into a bitter and hostile recluse again, throwing the ill-known Potter factoids in people's faces much like curses in the wizarding world.

Maybe i would like it better if i had something to think about besides BROWNIE. Funny how brown can be such a relative word...hahahaha. No really, it's funny. Y'all just don't know me, that's why it's all 'what IS she talking about'-esque.

So moving right along on my bitter rant today - I do think that Fish is a very annoying person to be with somedays.

As a principle I dislike showoffs. And she is everything that is wrong with people who need constant validation.

One must understand that there's a fine line between social and being pompous.

She's a pompous ass.

She's also a lot many more things.

Sometimes tho', it's fun being with her. Like the time with the Strumpets in the Sauna. And then the time with the Strumpet and Peter Pan. Well, to be fair the second one was just Moi and Peter Pan, such delightfully disgusting memories those were.

Ah.

I am at a loss as to what to do about this offer i tried to beg off of.
I know the only reason I'm invited is so she can show off her ex to me.
Which in her atypical manner she described as handsome beyond recognition.
Good Gosh. It's like all the men she ever dated had plastic surgery right after they separated.

Witness relocation? Anyone?

Oh - but OH the pomposity! Pompous asses - POMP THIS.

Croupier, pay my bets!

Neat.

Absolutely neat. Someone has a crush on me.

They think i'm adorable, and would like to spend time with me when I'm sober. What now? How is that going to be fun?

From what I hear of this person - they're leaning on the deep end of an OCD. Yup, should look in to it. What I need now is more neuroses.

Someonelse just told someone else i know to tell me that i have an awesome singing voice.
I say nasal, you say awesome. whatever.

A third someone invited me to a football game with a bunch of people i don't know. So i'll go make new friends perhaps or laff my self silly after a few beers.

They say the kind of person you become after a few drinks is the kind of person you really are.
I spoz I'm a giggling nitwit. Sounds about right.

Another person I am digging is so invisible to me - i can barely see them anymore.
Sometimes out of a bus. All the times looking weird and unshaven. Sadness on that count.

And another person I know likes this invisible getting person. Am not sure if I should care, since neither make much of a difference in my life. Shall have to ruminate on that - develop a stand.
Postulate on my soapbox here.

Someone else has a crush on a friend of mine and is using me to fulfill their crazed fantasies of getting introduced. Three words for you pally - I (am)* Not Nice. ESP. when you've got stalker written all over you.

You crazed pot-head (who spent the last 4 months mooning at everything else that walked in with a skirt).

Back to me - narcissistic as this may seem, this someone has a humungous longing for le one who served her Jalapenos one time...long long ago. That someone entertains thoughts of all sorts of weirdness, that this blogwriter can't even begin to fathom.

What must this blogwriter do to get through? She must become like other women. Hide the grime and show some grit? Damn if she could only do that.

I am wanting only that jalapeno serving brown skinned bastard. And on that count i am willing to skin the knees of my bees. Learn Spanish. Speak fluent politics and show some personality.

All that for a crazed co-op junkie who spends his weekends getting crunked on his "friends" beds.

Damn all this longing.

Need a new thang, this blogwriter does. Some honest to goodness fun and drop dead good books to keep her interested. Maybe even some Luftballoons to float along with. 99 of them perhaps.

Maybe she needs not a quarterlife crisis like the rest of the pack but a some thing to get started on rightaway - a project. Maybe she needs to stop talking about herself in the third person.

That's what I think she needeth - to be a lil bit more well-adjusted.



* notice how the 'am' was implied? It would've been even better if y'all'd recognized it before I parenthesized it!