Revisits

If what the 'ignorance' belied was lack of understanding. And if intolerance was based in ignorance...then there it lay - the answer manifold in front of me.

I am yet lacking the understanding for knowing that what i percieve as needing enlightenment and education is necessary and complete in itself. If the change is meant to come...reasons will arise in and of themselves and they will find within them the room to hold every idea and ideology.

I am ignorant as well as any. If I have percieved ignorance...i am myself ignorant. For the perception that things may ever be based on ignorance is a perception based in this world. And since the perception may well be flawed...well there you have it.

Who am i to dispense advice...though people may seek it?
What may i say that is made useful? For is nought all useful as it is? Is useless not also useful?

Live life! OMG! I must write this somewhere...everywhere...when i become involved in understanding it - I forget to live it! understanding and living they come together!

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For the will of one...becomes the power for many...should they seek with nought but the Powerful wills' mercy!

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For today it was as if he spoke to me. And he spoke endearingly as if I needed to hear it again and again. And he laffed at me through the thousand voices in my head and outside and he said..."The ceiling of desires doesn't mean some things, but everything...Books(!), success, etc."

I heard - why read Books for the answers you already own! Books Books Books is the same as clothes clothes clothes, house house house and money money money. How he teaches! How he
laffs! How he knows even the subtlest talks you have with yourself.

He talked to me today...with his manifold ways and his manifold voices and faces...

The divinity within...It mustn't be percieved in people like self only, it is unrestricted and unbound. It is everpresent in the murderer as it is in the human rights worker. It is ever present in the philanthropist as it is in the drug addicts. The very essential core of them all is the very same...the ideal unity it is not apparent but never not true!

Oh, how I crave to know the very thing that becomes the centre and epitome of everything I want to learn...to see it all the same way. To experience Advaita...to experience it for very very long.

He said, "Speak only when it improves silence." And rightfully he spake thus to me...for I have been letting my tongue waggle endlessly. It brings (atleast to me) amusement, but it belies an insecurity which I must say isn't something I don't know HOW to begin to know or tackle. Rather it is this fear of discovering it...lest it be a hidden desire that prevents progress as I wisht it. I am starting to know what this desire is...and yes it may have been implanted...and I feel I am not yet ready for its fruition...atleast. I am unwilling of its truth. I want certain things the desire brings but not all. And most of all I don't see it happening, with the one I would care for it to become the truth of. And then there is the feeling that its truth will not be long-lived before it evolves into another higher one.

Practice Practice Practice. He messaged. Practise ONE thing! How FUNNY! HOW VERY FUNNY! Just as I had made up my mind to practice NON-Violence to the core...thought word and deed...He says - practice, practice JUST one. And as I even think about Non-violence in thought word and deed it becomes apparent that in their core the 5 values are the VERY same. For it is beginning to seem that you cannot TRULY practice one without the other ones naturally becoming a part of it. And so I shall test it and know if it is true...can I be non-violent in the purest sense...without being truthful? Would I not be hurting myself...however subtle the injury may be - if I lie? Non-violence cannot be restricted to the outside world...it must stretch everywhere.

Satya, Dharma, Shanti, Prema, Ahimsa. They are as distinct as they are inseparable.

I must remember to tell myself that being a spendthrift means not to respect money. I respect money but its powers don't sway my judgement...I have noticed of late that I am forever thinking about the fact that if I had money...my parents would be OK. And that is what I care about. If I want the money...I need it for my parents...for the sense of security it may provide them. At some point, I hope that my travels will be independent of the factor that is money.

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Today I learnt that one can be a healer. So manifaced are you, the face of my desires.

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Yay! My brand new Lava lamp works! I am such an 80s baby.