Principe de Universalis

When you attack spirituality as a set of guidelines, it is immensly harder, if you do not have the grains of Bhakti Yoga seated deep within.

Once these flower, you know no else. It cannot be questioned. Thus, it cannot be hard.

However, if on the path of Gnan yoga you encounter these ideas, while believing them to be true and when Bhakti and Gnan yoga walk hand in hand for you...it is only natural that until you know the premise of everything, it will be hard to tackle that which is learnt already. To become that which you already know before you know all else...requires an immense leap of faith. To believe, as you may or may not discover more each day, that there is nothing else that can be True.

For knowledge comes to us in the reverse order - that which is latest learnt to that which we always knew - which comes last.

Your particular issue with the social masking, be it emotions, desires or even clothes possibly stems from this sublime path you take. Know that it will be hard for you to accept these and other emotions until you REALIZE what you seek, and it no longer is a problem. It is only there until you know why it is there.

I say this to you, and no-one else, because in you I trust that you hold a higher ideal for complete realization. And whence on that path, dispassion is the only requirement and it only comes when you have a critical mass applied to your being of Gnan.

Trying to imbibe the ideals before knowing why, it is the HARDER path to take. And you must be prepared never to question them. Thus when you believe ONLY that - there can be no different. No other way and therefore whether or not you wear clothes is regardless of anything else that may/maynot exist. It doesn't matter.

Just the same as it doesn't matter what you share with the world or don't share. It is being shared regardless. You are empty or filled regardless. There is that tipping point after which - these become clearer.

Do you see? I think I wonder because I am trying to understand what exactly it is that I am trying to understand from all this. For I must continue to understand everything until there is nothing left to understand and then I can realize what it is that I have understood and just be.

***

Several things happened this weekend.

I experienced dispassion in the presence of W. Though there were pangs of separation from him I found hard to subdue. I experienced extreme joy at the musical performance. It was Stellar. Some of the performances were so divinely tuneful that I felt nothing but loving joy. The universe opened up...once again!

Through one of the experiences this weekend, I realized the best definition of what a Master truly is:

'A Master is someone who started before you did.'

'A Master teaches the Essence. When the essence is percieved, he teaches what is neceessary to expand the perception.'

Characteristics of a Master: "Whatever he does, he does with the enthusiasm of doing it for the first time. This is the source of his unlimited energy".

"When I say that every lesson is the first lesson, it does not mean that we forget what we already know. It means that what we are doing is always new, because we are always doing it for the first time."

Thus, a Master never forgets what he learnt and does everything with first-time enthusiasm and precision that comes from pre-existing knowledge.

Einstein: "Physical concepts are free creations of the human mind, and are not, however it may seem, uniquely determined by the external world..." His wonderful example of the closed watch explains this idea beautifully.

Also Einstein, "People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion"

It is important to note that Knowledge isn't Experience. That a description of an experience is not the experience itself. It is only talk about it. The experience always comes from you.

The message of the Wu Li masters is: Not to confuse the type of dance that they are doing with the fact that they are dancing.

Our self-imposed limitations are the only things that hinder our understanding of everything. And once in a while a person comes along that just by re-presenting these ideas to us, expands those limits. These are people we know as Geniuses.

***

Homogeneity of the Is.

You are alternately the Is as the projector, the Light, the Screen and the Image itself, until you realize at one or the other point that you are nothing but the Is itself and all else becomes irrelevant.

Photoelectric effect - meditate on this...energy supplied by a photon to an electron to supersede the electrostatic barrier - leads to electricity, radiation. Its liberation. All it needs is a Source of energy. Only photons of a high-enough frequency, (above a certain threshold value) can knock an electron free.

Photon: the 'Particle' of light
Electron: the Negation of the Positive
Energy: That which makes the Photon the photon and an Electron an electron.

How poetic science is sometimes and how elegantly does it signify something more sublime. Do you see?

***

'But we can choose the music we like and then change to like another.'

Oh Samurai! How terribly elegant are those words! Ofcourse you can! That is what makes us so undeniably the same and unique at the same time. Once we understand these vibrations are only different because we percieve the effect of energy on it differently - it can change at will. I can vibrate at whatever energy I will. But defacto I will want to vibrate forever at the energy that I was bound to vibrate at before I knew different.

***

The Evolution of Love:

Whence sentient beings decide to evaluate the Love they have always known, they try all the different combinations possible. Mother-sibling, Father-sibling, sibling-sibling. Man-Woman.
Whence none of these satisfy the criteria that we are all aware of, at some point we are bound to try the remaining conditions - Man-Man, Woman-Woman, etc...It is surely the case that some relationships bring us closer to the truth...but nought but the realization that nothing is not love will bring to us the Truth that is ever present.

***

I find myself observing myself with acuity. I am myself only when I talk of spirituality.
I observe my reactions to everything with dispassion. Sometimes I realize the need to react to a certain situation, for the benefit of the company...or to prevent dissolution of that which is spozed to teach me yet what I need to know. But I am mostly (when not in the presence of W) happy/content.

***
I had a strange dream today:

Me: "Love is when we intertwine our arms and our legs."
Him: "No No. What is it?"
Me: "Love is shame."
Him: "Really? You believe that? Who would've thought, you were really thinking back there. That is about the most perfect definition to several million of a billion raised to 10."

Special

We believe what we do so we can believe the highest we can.

***

We use our own abilities as the yardstick for other people.

***

Something Macbeth said yesterday gave me pause,

"Well, if you intend to leave us, what about us? Those who are left behind? What about our lessons that we have to learn from you?"

I tried expounding the Advaita on this...it made sense, but it didn't help. Sure, I'll be everywhere, I will be you Macbeth, sure the body is a shell I mustn't, you mustn't get attached to - but the body is here for some purpose. And if we all are indeed here to learn...then we learn from each other. And I can't leave until all my work is done.

But I desire to leave it soon and therefore I will go my way and those who are to learn lessons from me and continue to teach me, will come with or meet me, regardless.

I think I begin to see why the sages took to the forests and didn't dissolve into the One, whence they could, after reaching turiya. Those who craved their company and their impact went with them. Stayed with them, until such a time as whence the sage realized that there was nothing more to do and all the work to be done will be done regardless.

I am not a sage. Yet.

***

I keep coming back to the same things over and over and I find my paradigms shift.
Much like world view, as one dares to hope.

The Messiah. Oh the Messiah. Ever the quandary, finally a resolution. There is no BETTER WAY. There is only ONE TRUTH...this is why we find so much comfort in history. Similar successes, similar failures.

For if this world is an illusion, something else must be the truth. And it must be absolute. And as Vivekananda said - The Absolute cannot be two or three. There is ONLY ONE TRUTH.

Once this becomes clear to us, by trial and error we reach a point where we are ready to realize why we are here in the first place. We get to the ONE way our own way. Until the home stretch the world is our canvas. (Yet there is evolution, baby.)

And for that, THERE where we meet our last lessons and realize this restlessness has a lot to do with something else, there needs be precedent. There needs be something that will guide. The Messiahs are the precedents. They are our guides. They remind us why we are here, while we are still different in our perceptions, we take different things from what they say, at different points in our lessons. But they remind us what it was we were learning, that it was to know the one Truth and how to return to It whence we came to discover it.

***

Critical mass means one of 2 things - Firstly, that civilization can be 'saved' all at once. This assumes that the mass of this world hasn't changed at all - it has only been recast, over and over again - and therefore it is entirely possible to go from a life of this reality to the Reality that there is only One all at once, once a tipping point is reached - and this is a chain reaction, somehow...whence we assume that critical mass means all of us are at the same time, at the same point, ready to ascend into higher purposes, loftier goals.

The second thing critical mass can mean is that there is at any given point a tipping scale...where there are some people who are willing, needing to be told what it is that they need to learn to cross the barrier - they've finished their rounds. And this critical mass of spiritual aspirants, hastens those who are close to achieving it...by its very presence around them. But it cannot tip those who are not ready, not by illuminating anything.

The second sounds sound to me. The first I am circumspect to believe...it feels as if it is suppositioning that we are/were the only ones who have ever been here...there has been no other external impact on the world as we know it from the time it was created to the time it will cease to remain. That we as Atmans have not traversed various other dimensions, to learn countless other things. That it has just been us repositioning and recreating its original mass. It may be true, possibly - anything is possible. But I wonder that no others witnessed the prowess of this world and loved it, learnt from it greatly and left it.

***

Sunrise Sunrise. Looks like morning in your eyes...Heavy Moons, Lost Balloons, on my mind.
So come away with me, oh Lonestar, where are you out tonight?

...You're my nightingale Jones.

***

Of W, is it my fate to compare the loves I have known, will know? I don't have a damn clue and funny thing is I am not really trying to find out either. Oi.

There are so many subtle lessons within each obvious one. It is immensly entertaining most of the time. I am afraid however that thoughts of what resistance I may face sometimes chaffe at me. I am ready for experience.

What comes next is already starting to make me excited. But I wait everyday to know why I wait. Double Oi.

I understand that on some level I want to be to him what he can be to me. And thus I foster a hidden agenda. Ha Ha Ha. Ahem. Get it? It's subtle.

I find that a few days away from him works wonders on me: I learn a new level of caring. I can care only for him, not WHOM he cares for at all. I don't seem to be bothered by the idea that he may have been/is with someone else at this very moment. Infact, I went through a period of rational thought with it...whatever his lessons may be, they don't ALL have to do with me. None of them might even. Like all mine don't have to do with him. For this, even if he is spread too thin at the same time I will have known him - it makes no difference. It was done for before it was done for.

I wonder if this is what unconditional love feels like... I guess I'll know soon enough.

We live in a beautiful world. Beautiful is everything in it.

Que sera sera

People and their different ways to learn. Oi. Never ceases to amaze and challenge me.

***

I realize something - everytime I get into a discussion about the world and its various Godheads...I understand the need for different religions. But I percieve only ONE truth...THAT this truth maybe evident in all religions to other people...this I am unsure of.

Which makes me just as fallible as before. For here I am believing before EXPERIENCING that this truth is THE truth. I am on the path to experiencing this truth to be self-evident and uptil that point...I can only speculate that this is the truth. OR I can believe it and challenge myself to PROVE it wrong. Ha!

So I only ask myself...is it true that this truth is evident in all the various ways? It is highly subjective to perception, this much is obvious.

But Unity is evident. Even under our percieved differences, we are the same set of elements and senses. Superficially, as we hope to win over people to our cause...we believe them essentially to be the same. Needs are the same. Wants are the same. Therefore motivation's the same. So on some level we believe that by showing people what we are we can make them understand...but we must hope then that they are exactly the same underneath it all. Pain, love, success, happiness, it moves us all so much.

It is only perception that is the difference. And it(perception) is there for a PURPOSE.

Perceptions, Perceptions, Perceptions. Blonde, Brunette. Victim. Leader. God. Godless. Chaos, confusion, randomness, casualities. Fact, knowledge, power, lessons. We percieve differences, and thus there it lies. To satisfy us.

the KEY point being - IT IS US THAT PERCIEVE DIFFERENCES. I percieve differences. You percieve differences. You don't percieve differences because I TOLD YOU SO. THE POWER TO PERCIEVE ANYTHING LIES WITH US. If I choose to PERCIEVE the DIFFERENCES differently, then I will. If I choose to PERCIEVE NO DIFFERENCES, then I won't see any. If i choose to see my life as a random set of facts then it will be a chaotic life. If I choose to lead my life to some purpose, everything will accomodate itself in my line of sight.

It's a choice of perception and it is WILLFULLY OURS. I can change my outlook on ANYTHING I dislike. JUST LIKE THAT (snap). That is all that is needed. It is entirely MY power, and MY responsibility - how I look upon anything.

***

We ARE the SAME, seems confounding only because WE WANT TO BE CONFOUNDED. Ha!

***

I find something else about religions, besides dogma and self-righteousness, that sits uneasy with me - their Morality is a product of the fear of God. That morailty which lies at the feet of fear, is no morality at all, but a manifestation of fears power over ourselves. A fear we created for ourselves. We choose to cower, so we cower. We can choose to forget that there maybe a God and serve for serving alone, the POWER lies with us.

***

Another thing I encountered today was how I percieve myself to be searching for an answer to a question that is so open-ended, to me. Why are we here? What is my purpose? And to me this hits the crux of the matter. It is the vital premise on which any philosophically sound argument must be seated on. And it must make sense. Absolute sense. And I realize that because we all are different or percieved different, the various answers that fulfill that equation are different.
For many, that question has no value. It doesn't mean anything, because of what they believe in. For example: If I believed in an all powerful, all-willing God, who may or may not condemn me, then my purpose becomes to do Her (or His) will, so as not to meet an untimely, unseemly, extremely painful end.

However, if I change my perspective as to who this All-powerful God refers to i.e. myself...my purpose becomes to do my will.

Now many will argue that the basic nature of man is Selfish. Absolutely. But who's to say this is a bad quality? Anyways, if the will of Man is selfish, people will argue that everyone will be out to get what THEY most want. But as they come to the realization that just as they are their own God, so is everyone else their OWN god, there will be a paradigm shift. One must hope.

Hang on one cotton pickin' second. How is this different from acknowledging that we are ALL humans and EQUAL. Shouldn't we be tackling that NOBEL CAUSE FIRST? Isn't that naturally intuitive and sound and easier? And yet look at what it is doing, people can't take other people seriously, no respect, no love. So what makes thinking of each other as GOD so much better? We can't even be civil and stop bombing each other long enough to realize that it might be people like us that are suffering.

The fundamental difference between the two ideas is thus. As humans, 'per laws of nature' we are subject to everything around us. We are in control of very limited resources, that may or may not be meted out proportionately. We may or may not feel jipped. We are victims of nature's wrath, God's wrath, neighbor's wrath, the neighbor's dogs' wrath.

As God, well everything is within control. We CHOSE this. We chose to get attacked by a yippity dog. Why? Well, we have a lifetime to figure THAT out and it isn't even that HARD once you get started. WE are in control. Nothing that happens to us, is without our consent AND thus can be changed. If we feel too lackey to change it, then we became this lackey person in order that nothing may interfere with our intention. Some things move us so, because we chose to have them move us so. Other things, not so much.

Now if I were to replace the word GOD with HUMAN, the effect is drastically different. For humans we percieve limitations in abilities, for GOD there are no limitations. But the difference is just OUR PERCEPTION. They are both, after all, just words.

Returning back to this hypothetical idea of us all being GOD: There is no willful supersupposition of anything. You do what you do, I do what I do. We both do what each is meant to do, and here, it would seem we have the makings of a hedonistic society. One that shirks responsibility and one that indulges in pleasure and pain at will - it would seem. One thing it seems to take away from everything before it is that its purpose will become unclear as we each indulge in that which makes us happy NOW. This may only be a deviation if we don't understand where true happiness stems from.

When we really begin to understand the nature of our reality in this space time - one thing is the only constant. Change. And change means impermenance. Which means that there is no way to indefinitely extend the happiness we experience, not even at great costs.

Unless there is a method of introspection that is invoked at the beginning of this process which has to be self-initiated, as to what constitutes TRUE happiness, it will be entirely just as chaotic or ordered as it is now. Unless the person aware of there being no good or evil, realizes that they are spozed to realize this for a purpose, that the worlds purpose falls into perspective only if you consider for a minute that it is the same every where/every person you look at - the outcome of this each one for his own becomes predictable.

The tendency is to believe what we can see. But we see a lot that we can't believe and we can't see a lot of what we believe. Nevertheless with that overwhelming point in mind...when we see what we think will make us happy, naturally we want to have it. But like the object of our happiness, happiness associated with it is temporary and transient...as it fades and transfers our attentions to another object, we covet that, it ONLY makes us happy, so on and so forth.

But isn't happiness, even if for a short while, a cause on its own? Absolutely. But unless I become a finely tuned person that recognizes where my happiness stems from and why, I won't ever be able to achieve that which will make me happy indefinitely, notwithstanding the impermenance of things around me. And lets face it...I want that which makes me happy all the time. I know I'll tire of toys and people after a while, so I seek that which will enthrall me for eternity.

Eventually the pursuits in this direction mimic our pursuits now. There being very little moral leverage to either. The same chaos and confusion will reign supreme before the calm makes itself apparent. Before the paths all converge and the desires all melt into one.

I guess my point is...it is useless to argue that the world is in shambles. It is where it ought be. We destined it so. And it may yet turn out ideally.

Thus, though I may deny another man's judgement on the good and bad of life...it is the will of the masses that prevails. And also for some purpose. Thus, at some cost, the world view changes every few centuries or so and it teaches those who come afterwards a different lesson. We may forever become the planet to experience hedonistic tendencies and willful destruction in the name of a cause - a place to experience to the utmost - transience and the opposite of peace, love and harmony. But it will be so at our behest. Only because we CAN, shall it happen. Or we can change. We can begin to be that where peace and love and harmony reign, but because of their impelling nature yet their impermenance we shall be motivated finally, on this plane to become the place where the will to meet "the Ultimate Truth" comes to fruition.

Who's to say we always weren't there?

***

There is NO different. I am everyone. Brotherhood is a cover for me to serve myself.

We are therefore the Is is? NO. The Is is therefore we are. We are all the same, because, before our perceptive dualities, there was that which was the same.

***

If seeking knowledge gives me such Joy, what will experiencing it do?

Love much, Leave much.

Ofcourse all this time that I talked of Creation - I really meant manifestation...for ofcourse something cannot come from nothing and thus there was never any 'Creation' de novo, it always was. The question wasn't HOW creation occured, but WHEN and WHY.

Vedanta: The cause for the perception of the duality between what HAS ALWAYS been (Brahman) and our mortal nature (jiva-atman) is beyond the human mind and can only be experienced in the Brahman itself. It has nought to dissappoint me but verily I don't buy into that. If we can know everything else...then we can KNOW this also. Experience is everything. But before experience comes knowledge that the experience exists.

To mind comes the comical Douglas Adams when I say, "I fear that our percieved reality changes to match whatever it is that we most believe, thus the reality of this space-time is perhaps too transient to be captured singularly. And once it is captured - it will change, naturally. I also fear that this has already happened."

But the Vedas thusly put a lot of Wisdom into my hands and all of it is undenied - they accept the limitations and show ways to broaden the experience to capture what is missed:

Yes, a creator created all creatures and the whole universe. That is the faith of almost all Abrahamanic religions, the Jewish, the Christian and the Islamic. They all believe in a creator, pre-existing all creations and causing them to be created. That is the simplest of the simple explanations. But according to Vedanta or Sanatana Dharma the explanation is totally at a different level. Creation is generally understood to mean making something, which did not exist prior to the action of creation - something coming out of nothing. According to Vedanta that cannot be. Our commonsense also says that nothing can come out of nothing. So according to Vedanta there is nothing like creation. Swami Vivekananda has explained in clear terms that the Sanskrit word ‘Srushti’ has its origin in the root ‘srij’ which means to ‘project’. ‘Srushti’ means projection - projection of something which pre-existed, into new forms. ‘Srushti’ is only the process, of the unmanifest becoming manifest. What is thus manifested will ultimately go back to the state of the unmanifest from which it came. That is called ‘pralaya’- dissolution. It is a cyclic process - beginningless and endless.

The ultimate cause behind these "manifest-exist-nonmanifest" phenomena is what Vedanta calls ‘Brahman’, or more commonly, God. Without God, the Ultimate Reality, no ‘Srushti’ or manifestation or projection can take place. If the term creation means only projection or manifestation and not something coming out of nothing, then it all boils down to the same thing. There is no problem ideologically if God is both the creator and the creation, the cause and the effect. God exists not outside of his creation but immanent in it and is also transcendent. This is a perfectly logical, rational, and, if I may say so, scientific explanation.

It is very interesting to find that of late, even confirmed, life-long atheists are turning out to be believers in the existence of God. Antony Flew, a British Philosophy Professor, 81, who had been a leading proponent of atheism for more than 50 years, has now become a true believer. "I am thinking of a God very different from the God of the Christian and far and away from the God of Islam, because both are depicted as omnipotent oriental despots, cosmic Saddam Husseins" – Mr. Flew said.

He still accepts the Darwinian Theory of Evolution, but doubts if it can explain the origin of life.

Throughout his career, uptil now, he had expounded the lack of evidence for the existence of God. But, now he says: "My change of heart has been a gradual process prompted by new scientific research". Speaking on ‘Has Science Discovered God?’ Prof. Flew argues: "The investigation of DNA has shown, by the almost unbelievable complexity of the arrangements which are needed to produce life, that intelligence must have been involved".

The first indication of his about-turn came in a letter to ‘Philosophy Now’ magazine in which he said: "It has become inordinately difficult even to begin to think about constructing a naturalistic theory of the evolution of that first producing organism".

In the new edition of a book (God and Philosophy), Prof. Flew has written: "My whole life has been guided by the principle of Plato’s/Socrates': Follow the evidence, wherever it leads". Prof. Flew was teaching Philosophy earlier at St. John’s College, Oxford, and King’s College, London.

It seems that genuine scientists are slowly coming to accept the Vedantic position that in the beginning was consciousness, which got involved in matter, or took a plunge into what became and then started evolving into various expressions and manifestations. But among scientists there is no unanimity about the existence of God. Many do believe and many do not. A scientist needs proof-solid and verifiable proof. The existence of God has to be proved in a laboratory and it must be reproducible anywhere, anytime under similar circumstances. Here comes the difficulty...

Oi vej - here's the Link to the article...It was important to transfer the top portion because it is obstructed by an advertisement.

Another point of view talks about the nature of Maya and its fallacies:

Sankara says with senses there is no possibility to know whether the thing confronting you is real or unreal. And if there is no possibility to know whether it is real or unreal, Sankara calls it MAYA: it is illusion. Illusion doesn't mean unreal. Illusion means an impossibility to decide whether it is real or unreal -- remember this. This confusion is MAYA. Thus the world of experience, the world of discernment is an illusion. For nothing in it has a real or separate existence in its own right. Ultimately there is something behind the world that cannot be perceived by the eyes or the senses. It is knowledge and discernment of its elements that generates maya, the world of illusion. Of course this illusion itself comprises also the perceiver which makes things even more difficult. For the perceiver has to - not only free themselves from the illusion of the world that appears to be around them but also from the illusion of the existence of themselves as separate egos -individuals. This is compounded by the fact that even the desire to free them selves of this illusion becomes part of the illusion. The need to achieve to grasp at understanding the problem is also maya.

It is not that the world itself is an illusion, only our perception of it. Whereas we suppose the universe to be made up of a multitude of objects, structures and events, the theory of maya asserts that all things are one. Rational categories are mere fabrications of the human mind and have no ultimate reality

'Try to understand this: I may dream in the night that I have become a butterfly, and I cannot decide in that dream whether this is real or unreal. In the morning I may be puzzled like Chuang Tzu whether instead the butterfly may have been dreaming. These are two dreams, and there is no way to compare which is real and which is unreal.

But Chuang Tzu is missing one thing -- the dreamer. He is thinking only of dreams, comparing dreams and missing the dreamer -- the one who dreams that Chuang Tzu has become a butterfly, the one who is thinking that it may be quite the reverse: that the butterfly is dreaming that she has become Chuang Tzu. Who is this observer? Who was asleep and is now awake? You may be unreal, you may be a dream to me, but "I" cannot be a dream to myself, because even for a dream to exist a real dreamer is needed. Even for a false dream a real dreamer is needed. Even a dream cannot exist without a real dreamer. So forget the dream. This technique says forget the dream. The whole world is illusion, you are not. So don't go after the world, there is no possibility to gain certainty there. And now this appears to be proven even by scientific research.

If the whole world is unreal, then there is no shelter in it. Then you are moving after, following shadows, and wasting time and life and energy. Then move inwards. One thing is certain: "I am." Even if the whole world is illusory, one thing is certain: there is someone who knows this is illusory. The knowledge may be illusory, the known may be illusory, but the knower cannot be. This is the only certainty, the only rock on which you can stand.

This technique says look at the world: it is a dream, illusory, and nothing is as it appears. It is just a rainbow. Go deep in this feeling. You will be thrown to yourself. With that coming to one's own self, you come to a certain truth, to something which is indubitable, which is absolute.'

***

For a while I was roughhousing the idea that service to humanity is without benefit. We are all here to learn our lessons...and we beget situations that we planned. And I have come full circle today.

For a while as it occured to me that disillusionment is not uncommon, that forgetting what we are really here for - disregarding the voice of the thought that brought us here, our Dharma, our Karma is absolutely plausible...which could mean a ripple effect in the fabric of the world. When one person forgets their role and reason here they become the initiator of a causal cycle that can effect MANY people - Karmic cycle on the earthly level explained in simple cause and effect cycles.

But on deeper speculation the ideas are contradictory - on the one hand we have the liberty to decide our fate absolutely, thus, we can CHANGE it and on the other, things may get out of control upon disentanglement with mundane affairs of the jiva-atman - as a result of disillusionment.

These two ideas are antithetic and therefore I disregard the last. We are in complete control of our fates. People who suffer are here to suffer. And distractions exist. It is the fate of those millions who are distracted to want their lifes to lose control like that. The ephemeral nature of this reality captured in so paramount a way for their benefit.

There is no good and there is no evil. It comes like searing lightening to me.

Since Maya is confusion itself...we are but to understand the order in the chaos and it will all fall together. And it can enrapture and thrall and cause disarray and people will lose their way...but stumblingly they will find it back. Having gained the knowledge requisite.

The nature of our struggle depends entirely upon ourselves. Perhaps not as Jivatman but definitely as the "Atman" that is reposed to understand its nature by reverse sublation.

And disillusionment...cannot be helped. It can only be served. Whence it is the right time the help will come from within not without.

Besides this I also realize, though I still would not actively indulge in it myself, the reason to teach the way to enlightenment. Not everyone is able to find their way initially even. Besides later stages require utmost concentration and a will to do nought but reach that which you always were - and here some guidance is necessary.

And I understand the need to serve - much more acutely than before...it is the feeling of fraternity - common cause that binds us. We realize, sometimes, at a subliminal level that we are all here to reach the same ideals, same perception, same dissolution, same liberation. And it can't be helped that those of us who see something deeper, more calming want to serve others so they may be able to, by virtue of what they learn, see it faster.

Tat tvam asi

'You cannot help anyone, you can only serve' - Swami Vivekananda

'The Vedas are without beginning or end. This may seem absurd to you. How can a book have no beginning or end? But the vedas are a collection over ages, the accumulated treasury of philosophical knowledge and laws. The Vedas they teach us that Creation is without beginning or end. Science is said to have proved that the sum total of all cosmic energy is always the same. Then if there was a time that nothing ever existed, where was all this manifested energy? Some say it was in a potential form in God. In that case God is sometimes potential and sometimes kinetic, which would make Him mutable. Everything mutable is a compound, and everything compound must undergo that change which is called destruction. So God would die, which is absurd. Therefore there was never a time when there was no creation.'

- Swami Vivekananda

As I peripherally tried to challenge my thoughts on science...and its principal need...the Alchemist comes to mind...always...purifying purifying, even until he finds the "essence" - that which is ever the indivisibility and is therefore transformative! And then these words came with electrifying clarity from the book I read...Swami Vivekanandas words...they clarified even those doubts that were only vaguely cognizant.

'Perfection is absolute, and the absolute cannot be two or three. It cannot have any qualities. It cannot be an individual. So when a soul becomes perfect and absolute it becomes the Brahman, and it would only recall the Lord as the perfection, the reality, of its own nature and existence, the existence absolute, the knowledge absolute, the bliss absolute.

Therefore to gain this universal individuality, this miserable little prison-individuality must go. Then alone can death cease when I am alone with life, then alone can misery cease when I am with Happiness itself, then alone can all errors cease when I am with Knowledge alone, and this is the necessary scientific conclusion. Science has proved to me that physical individuality is a delusion. That really my body is one little continuously changing body in an unbroken ocean of matter, and Adviata (unity) is the necessary conclusion with my other counterpart, soul.

Science is nothing but the finding of the unity. As soon as it reaches this perfect unity, it would stop from further progress, because its goal would be reached. Thus Chemistry would not progress further, if the one element out of which all others could be made is discovered. Physics would stop if it discovered the one energy of which all others are but manifestations. Biology would stop if the essence of life itself from which all can be gifted life is discovered. And the science of religion would discover the Prathista...the One that is the basis for all! One who is the ONLY soul of which all other souls are but delusive manifestations!'

(self's addition is italicized)

"Names are not explanations."

***

As I asked of the people I know, why is there no one religion that becomes it all? Why wasn't there one Messiah? Why isn't the unity apparent? And they unable to answer looked away - Thus came the answers...from Vivekananda.

"Unity in variety is the plan of nature. The Hindus have discovered that the absolute can only be realized, or thought of, or stated, through the relative, and the images, crosses, crescents, are so many symbols - so many pegs to hang the spiritual ideas on."

"Every religion is only evolving God out of the material man, and the same God is the inspirer of all of them. Why then are there so many contradictions? They are only apparent, says the Hindu. The contradictions come from the same truth adapting itself to varying circumstance of different natures. It is the same light coming through glasses of different colors. And these little variations are necessary for adaptation. But in the heart of everything the same truth reigns."

***

Everything here is beautous and sound...and yet the Vedantic claims nought to creation. He says 'I don't know'. He claims the spiritual evolution is evident...but doesn't clarify it enough to slake my thirst.

It has been told since time immemorial that the plan of the universe is a plan in and of itself and it reveals itself to us only as we seek its original truth! For before that we don't claim to know why we are...we only ask what we are and by way of finding it - discover why we are.

All I do is seek to see this knowledge of 'why' reflected somewhere, soon. And I know what I am. I now only seek to REALIZE it and BE it.

***

Coming back to the nature of the conciousness...its Absolute untouchable, unchangeable Pristiness.

I understand it now! Infact, I think the dream I had last night, where I was updating the blog with this entry, pounded it in. It was so revealing, for in this 'dream', I was being taught It. And what is more - I remember what It taught me!!

It is OFCOURSE the way it must be...if we are what we are, all the time that we are, then ofcourse when we are asked to understand or explain ourselves...we choose to explain ourselves in the only way possible...explain the Is to the Is VIA the Is. How futile it sounds compared to the thought of just BEING the Is. If we ONLY realize this one FACT! How much easier it becomes to see why the WORLD and the UNIVERSE AT LARGE - is JUST AN ILLUSION! An ILLUSION created to SATISFY OUR MOST ELEMENTARY BUT ALSO MOST PARAMOUNT QUERY!

***

I am going to use Ark's example to explain to myself what I now know:

As the conciousness projects itself on the screen of itself as what it can be, thus only then do we understand that the 'light' that projects ourselves onto ourselves is nought but Ourself aka the Conciousness and it takes ONLY the form of Love - to EXPLAIN itself, for Love is the ONLY Omni-pervasive, Omni-present, Omni-potent and Omni-scient form that it CAN take. And this beautiful form is accessible to us only as we experience that which love is NOT.

That which That is not. Neti Neti. Not this, Not this.

For the nature of THAT/Is is everything and therefore unfathomable and forever unperturbed, unless it is expressed as LOVE - becoz We PERCIEVE it ONLY then!!!

This explains Creative-desire, experiential desire AND the desire to merge!

The Creative Desire emerges when bits of the Conciousness want to experience itself...thus, 'Thoughts' or any of the VARIOUS ways to experience 'That', are made available. In the process of self-discovery, the thoughts try to define themselves via probitive inquiry and coarser emotions that which identify It and that which It is not - Experiential Desires. And thus when we as conciousness' regain an understanding of what we ARE - we crave to BECOME THAT AGAIN - Suffusive Desire. We wish to be it completely and all that time!

For, all we experience is LOVE LOVE LOVE! And we forever become that which is experienced!!!

Oh!

So, YES! This desire is self-initiating - that as we want to experience ourselves we become the light that projects from the projector (which is also us) onto the screen (ALSO us) to understand what we were in the first place!!!

The Light is the LOVE! And once the Image realizes this...the image itself, the projector, the screen and the light BECOME it ALL!

I am not the best writer or teacher - but I exposit for my benefit only - so it does no harm to be completely NEBULOUS!

Being

If attachments are thoughts, then thoughts are attachments too!

***

I find that love makes everything interesting. Even that which I used to not care for, is suddenly dancing with life of its own.

And yet, I feel heartsick.

Nevertheless, it's so different how I feel now compared to a lot of other times when I have experienced this feeling...I am calm and OK, to the point where sometimes I forget to notice - but I care.

Everyday...it is a successful brush with the future, past and present.

I feel outdated and lack understanding when it comes to W sometimes. I feel like I am not good enough...there was a time when I did...now I feel polluted somehow. Like I don't have anything to offer him and it breaks my heart that this would be like that. And yet somehow I know it isn't and aye, there's the rub.

If it were the old me I would've said - 'Don't you know my dear, everytime you reject me, even a little, I reject myself twice as hard.' But I feel instead..."the loss of a lesson not learnt, weighs too heavy on me...it rejects the source to which I am naturally bound, when that happens. And I am adamant about not staying still and not being different from the source."

Not as catchy - but certainly more than commensurate.

***

Today again was a day spend with W and co. I think everytime I am away from this overpowering emotion long enough I realize something immediately - how attached I am already! It blows my mind...how I catch myself caring about him and his, hours after I have seen him. It is truly scary to me. I also find myself experiencing familiar motions of possessiveness for him, but I find myself asking myself - "Is that unconditional love you are experiencing? Is that it?" and as soon as I say that I find a lot of the load lifted. I answer No, and return to peace and trying to love unconditionally.

***

I have to say that in many manners this attachment is destructive to my tendencies. I want only to know him and what he has to say and yet when in co. I can't help but look away or pretend not to care...so much of his gnan sounds like it came from books...it can't be truly only that...he is so conversant with EVERYTHING that it is truly a joy to know someone who invests themselves so much in knowledge. But on the other hand...I am not sure how much of that knowledge is contradictory. I am willing to bet - a lot of it, is. And seeing as how I am circumspect of textual knowledge...I am by nature, bound to keep away from it.

This utter reliance on his attention is not at all what I want to cultivate. It leaves me drained of all the spiritual energy I normally always feel. I am straying too much in this initial phase and as I remind myself of what I am spozed to be learning (when I am away from him) and whether I am in anyway controlling what I ought to know, I feel at last that I have achieved some measure of knowledge from him. Yet I am yet to implement this in his very presence...it usually ends up with me giving the impression that I don't care. Which is true...but possibly not the right impression to give. It may look like indifference, but it is love.

***

I find that I want to be with him only. Of everyone else...I feel i am certainly done with. If this is what I must learn...then i want no longer to be part of a circle of friends. family. career. or anything that will hold it back. I want it all and I want to become it all.

***

Why do I seek enlightement? Bliss? Nirvana? Moksha? The Truth - by any other name?

So I can be fully what I am rather than be these actors on their stages!

***

B---, You are my master and therefore my muse.

***

I noticed that there seemed to be a general theme in my understanding of all the discussions I witnessed today...Know, Realize, Be. As it became clear I became many times its lover.

"Is the path to the Parabrahman selfish?"
Some say no. Almost to the exclusion of all argument on the subject. And I have to say that it is. Absolutely...until the point that you BE.

It seems like a tastefully superior thing to say, otherwise...and it is anything but...you are focused on YOUR enlightenment without a care for the rest of the world...OR you are immersed in knowing THAT which YOU are - so by definition it becomes about the Self. You have a desire...which no matter it is to the exclusion of the rest...is STILL a desire - which means you are selfish until you just ARE. UNtil you are past knowledge. And Realization.

When you just BE. That's when the desire vanishes with everything else, but up until then...

The nature of reality is meaningfully subversive - I find that I think this so many times per day that it is my nature to look at everything like this now.

"The concept of lower dharma and higher dharma (swadharma)" - beats my small mind. I find that within the bounds of reality...it becomes important to distinguish the two. But above it there exists no distinction...the existence of Dharma is arbitrary...just like everything else...it is there only because it is there. Something one said on Dharma however, made me (and everyone) jolt with its beauty - "If I were to learn French...and learn the letters, then the words and learn only to make sentences with those words that can be used in situations where I am asked to respond to something - then yes I would know French...but it is not the BEST way, is it? But if on the other hand, I were to learn the grammar of French and its roots and analogies I would then be able, on my own merit, to prepare an appropriate response to any query. Dharma is like the grammar of life."

For your words are like flowers, they make me weep for their simple beauty.

"The path to enlightenment is the highest one." 'Isn't this the same as when you lose the self while helping others?' someone asked. It is not the same. When you lose a sense of self in service it comes with being/having Realized. The first step is KNOWLEDGE that we are one. The second is the REALIZATION that we are one. The Last - which we know as enlightenment - is BEING one. BEING Everything. Thus Realization and Being though successive are not the same.

Bhakti yoga, Karma yoga and Gnan yoga...An important point about the variety in these pathways is that each is particularly suitable to our tendencies. And since our tendencies change with our level of knowledge - our method of gaining higher spiritual ground changes also.

What is the path of Bhakti Yoga to Enlightenment? Bhakti yoga - described as a complete Sacrifice to the goal before attaining the Knowledge. When you BELIEVE unconditionally, unquestioningly, in the ONENESS of everything...it becomes one and you begin to understand the wisdom that it brings of the oneness and you are AWARE. It is said that after Bhakti yoga - there is no yoga for Gnan - it just comes. This is perhaps the MOST BEAUTIFUL and the HARDEST path to travel.

What is difference of the above from Gnan yoga to Enlightenment? When you are yet questioning and trying to understand the nature of reality of yourself...Gnan yoga is foremost in its abilities to satisfy - it brings the wisdom that the seeker seeks. Whence you know - you eventually realize and you BE, thence you are AWARE. Gnan yoga however is followed by Bhakti Yoga. But it is fairly easy to see why these two paths can go hand in hand. That Bhakti Yoga follows any rigor of Gnan yoga...Gnan yoga is the active search for knowledge. And whence this is complete you are filled only with the desire to attain that which you now Know. To Realize its potentiality. For this Bhakti Yoga is now the primary focus...you are devoted to the Knowledge, you profess only the love of wanting to experience it. The Realization comes. Whence you are Aware that there IS nothing but the Is...you attain it!

***

A couple of days ago, Ark brought up some interesting questions...what is the nature of this desire that we feel to merge with the Ultra-conciousness? Is it not some need that is being satisfied? Better than it might be on this plane? That we percieve that it will satisfy better than anything else we have encountered...so we do it for our own selfish reasons! It is true! nothing that we do is without selfish reasons! I want to be That! I want to experience That! It is still with the reason for satisfying what we want most even That! We do for experiencing the better, the bliss.

Desire, Desire, Desire - you hound me yet!

Besides this....he also said the nature of the Is is so pristine that it cannot be felt unless it is expressed as Love. That even when we are the Is we just ARE and therefore never know our OWN nature. It is only felt TO us, ...when we are not willing to understand that we are the Is, as being LOVE. The only way he could describe this with any accuracy is - it is the projection of the conciousness, BY the conciousness, ON the conciousness.

I think he's right!?...when you ARE LOVE...do you know any different? You can't be anything but what you are...but do you NOT experience yourself? Oi.

I know what this projecting yourself on yourself by yourself business is, yet I want to know if it is true that this Pristineness is forever unexperienced and it is only Love that explains its nature to itself.

***

Oh the sublimity of MOVIES! Look at how we project ourselves for ourselves.

***

When you live by the highest you know, the outcome of the game doesn't matter. However it comes out, it came out right.

cogito ergo sum

Dragonflies are resplendent creatures. I saw two dragonflies today...as if tied together by strings. Swaying and darting in unison, turning and chasing in identical fluidity. They looked like even they knew what I didn't.

***

I have encountered Self-Destructive Love. I am what I crave. Apparently, all my tendencies seem to boil down to this artifact of my nature. I want a love that is SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. Where I lose conciousness of the fact that I am separate. That I am Self. All my tendencies that were superficially self-destructive...how I try to ruin relationships before they begin, how I crave extreme mind-blowing love...how I set myself up....all these point to more sublime tendencies...I want a love so gloriously powerful that I am moved to leave this life.

I spent most of last night with W and co.
He seemed angry at me...a little if not a lot. Bit snappy.
After they left...I spent most of the night trying to understand what I was feeling. It felt like all the energy had drained out of me. I didn't want to laugh and joke around like I was doing, half-heartedly. I wanted it all to start. I was so disappointed that I almost laughed when I realized that. I am sure I felt some variant of this before. But before I'd let it take over my life for days on end. Now within a few hours...I was feeling happy again. Satisfied and content.

p/s: Apparently my sense of humor doesn't get better under pressure.

***

Is there a way to reach the Divine Love through Earthly love?
Is it possible for love on this plane to be transcendental?
I pose this question to understand what we can or cannot experience in this plane of emotions. Is everything an antithesis of what it is spozed to be?

Ofcourse, it is possible for Love to be transcendental. But what I want to know is...can both parties be spiritually allieved and joyous when they experience such pleasure in each others company? Can THAT happen? Is that an equivalent of the spiritual joy?

I mean I am asking stupid Qs really. I know the answer is yes, yes, yes and YES to all of the above. So why am I asking these questions over and over???? Am I too desirous of this one thing? this one emotion I feel I must experience until this human heart is fit to explode? Am i desirous of fitting in? (shudder)

Are we here because we experienced some dissatisfaction? Was that the nature of creation...was it self-initiating? If we remain dissatisfied...thence we shall return?

Were we to realize that dissatisfaction was pointless...how long would that suffice?

The lessons teach us the nature of what we were/are, by teaching us what we weren't/aren't. And say that you tried to return to the source without complete understanding...would you recreate yourself, to experience that which you still don't know?

Then PC told me this: There is a story about John Hislop and B---. Whence John talked to S----, about why he was here...B--- said - you were a yogi in your past birth, at which John asked then what was he doing here...spozedly having taken a step down from where was before...why not attain nirvana? B--- said - you were desirous of a certain of life...thus you are here.

!!!

This means were it that we were to heed all that is given to us as knowledge with improper understanding...our battles might reduce themselves...but we continue to be born into a sphere of education...for e.g. ...our world as we know it, continue to learn/not learn from our experience, until we CRAVE the Truth.

Does this include the voluntary removal of yourself from the Is to experience everything you didn't to understand AGAIN what you were/are always?

Were we to want TO REALLY know the nature of us AND everything, so that dissatisfaction is removed without a doubt...we possess the natural skills to do it...its just the emotions get in the way.

Experiential - such is life.

***

I understand why I never fit in before. I don't want to get too comfortable here. I think I heed warning given before arrival.

***

'Science is mainly employed in external studies...not internally directed to the study of life, that makes itself clearer as you probe deeper within yourself.'

Though I understand what the source meant...if we were truely experiential and analytical...wouldn't we try - logically, scientifically speaking - to attack the problem from both ends? Externally and Internally? Not only that we'd try to metamorph those two, once we knew enough.

Whence I read those words something came ever so piercingly to me...I spoz some of what I am trying to do...searching for an answer within life - as a scientist - a Cell Biologist - I am about the delving deeper and deeper into the basic unit of life - trying to understand its "struggle for existence and cognizance". All this seems, now, to translate from this supreme Vedic insight into - I was always meant to digging deeper...within life. Within myself.

This fits into everything so beautifully...it left me stunned that my superficial struggles seem to stem from a deeper struggle to know myself. Not only that ~ they mimic the ever-struggle! They take the same courses and meet the same kind of analysis!

'When you induldge in the mundane everyday struggles without a goal - it leaves you unsatisfied.' - HOW ABSOLUTELY TRUE!

***

I just finished reading a wonderfully succint article about Mordehai Mildrom and his MOND theory, now compatible with Bekenstein's TeVeS theory which as it is based on MOND, could revolutionize, what we know to be true about this universe. This gives the Dark Matter physicists some concern. Or atleast levels the playing field a little. It is amazing how many things we are unaware of when something is not our specialty. We have grown to fit ourselves into a niche...trying very hard not to be aware of what is around us unless forcibly made/trained to, for whatever emotional reasons.

Studying the nature of the space-time fabric, inventing the anti-matter, multiple dimensions, etc etc. it is all too beautiful and all too complex all at once. What is underneath all this? What discovery will finally hold us satisfied? What theory will survive supreme suspection and survive forever to become THE LAW?

Or will it never come to that? As we evolve so does the universe. The thought process evolves...shedding old notions...embracing newer ones. I think I'd be content to see - the contradictions accepted together...verified unanimously to fit a constantly changing universe...not JUST expanding...not JUST contracting...not JUST the anomalies...not JUST the laws, but thence explaining the nature of every interaction in only one moment and then as it is never the same again...the next moment is still part of the Theory of Contradictions; as it changes, grows, and evolves.

The more cosmological ideas intrigue, the more phastasmic they seem to become. It seems the same with divinity. The deeper you delve, the more magical/inaccessible the answers seem to those who can't understand them. Yet, as they lay themselves bare to the observer...they are seen for what they truly are - the REAL knowledge. The tangible proof. The raw data in which everything beats to rhythm. All you need is the right tools and a willing disposition.

***

Physics has never been beyond me...but there are parts of it that sometimes befuddle me into wanting it to be beyond me - so i can stop trying.

Satashya Sathyam

It is ENTIRELY possible to skip all the learning...for whence there are NO schools...there needs be NO graduations!

Oh the simplicity of it, lays itself bare! I am only now coming to my senses fully!

It only matters what we choose to do...whence we came from, we shall return - it only matters what journeys we wish to take! Some are hard and some are kind. Some teach and others amuse. Some we choose, others we reject.

We can skip it all ENTIRELY - if we decide that NOTHING MATTERS except the Supreme Conciousness, the Is, the Parabrahman. Then all that remains is to follow the path(s) that require single-mindedness from us, in this purpose - in this purpose to KNOW the Truth and it alone.

So many ways to reach it/the Parabrahman! Oh they are so replete! So beautiful! So unique in their own way!

I feel lightened!!! I feel as if I am made of some inner light that only now shines through me. On me. I CAN SEE! I CAN SEE HOW THEY ARE ALL THE SAME! I CAN SEE WHY IT DOESN'T MATTER!

You can do complicated calculus to figure out the sum of 2 n 2. Or you can just add them.
Depends on what satisfies your mind! Likewise with an inner conciousness...we are deterministic. We are in deterministic worlds, like this one! We make graduated desicions...marking time, place and event. All they are for are to teach us what we already KNOW...but won't accept until we are ready. Some people will take the leap of faith and others...well others need to know for themselves!

I gave myself a choice! It is funny, because after this, after today...I don't need to make a choice...soon both my paths will converge...oh glory!

***

It is funny, I grew up knowing this. It was said to me many many ways. In many many forms. In single and in plural, the purpose implied...illuminated. All was illuminated. And I found something transcendent in those words only NOW!

What seems obvious to me ONLY NOW, is so truly beautous...it is the fact that every equation to the Brahman...has a back-up equation! Every path...has another one written sublimely under it that takes us to the Ultimate reality, eventually! They evolve and co-evolve!

So whether we choose to follow paths that show us our purpose and our next lessons and eventually show us how little they may matter...or whether they show us by their simple agelessness the Underlying Truth all at once...is left to us, the meandering of the thoughts...they can reach their goal immediately or they can reach it infinitely slowly...time, it seems - is on our side. We are positively made of time.

I know one thing, at this moment in time...I want to know what other ways there are also! I want to see all the Creation all at once! I want to see its intricacies that are self-weaving and its simplicity that is self-evident! I want to experience it all for itself!

***

Oh, but the power of persuasive love! I had but to accept the fact that me and my love may not be of the same mind and slowly my mind expanded to explain it all!!!

***

Thus I am to ponder the words forthwith, with their VAST truth inlaid:

'I am infinite, I am immeasurable, I am unique, I am incomparable. Equal to myself, I am my own measure, witness and authority.'

'I am the Satashya Sathyam, the Truth of truths. Why has truth come on earth in human form? To plant in the heart of man the yearning for Truth, to place man on the road to Truth, to help man to reach Truth by loving instruction and by the final gift of illumination.’

***

'You cannot understand my reality either today or even after thousands of years of austerity or inquiry, even if all mankind join in that effort. But, very soon, you will be aware of the bliss showered by the divine principle, which has taken upon itself this body and this name.'

To me it becomes--you cannot understand my reality if that's what you choose to understand...you can understand your OWN reality however and realize that my reality is no different!

"Whenever ashanthi or disharmony overwhelms the world, the Lord will incarnate in human form to establish the modes of earning prashanthi (peace) and to re-educate the human community in the paths of peace."

This becomes to me -- the modes for peace and education will make themselves apparent as ways not only to learn what disharmony and violence are, if only to hold them to the light of what they were in contrast to, but they will also become our graduations - if that is what we seek.

White Rabbit

Sometimes when the lessons are still soaking into you...one becomes disenchanted until one realizes, it was an addition not a subtraction to your ever expanding equation.

***

In the face of adversity, some people lose who they are...and some, find themselves.

(cheesy sounding - but infinitely true)

***

For some reason I am not able to progress beyond a certain point. It all seems sort of meaningless this minute, in the now...I mean the revelations come and lessons hard learnt induce their effect with subtle but riveting force...but for some reason I am unable to rise above the horizon...it feels so easy...i have the understanding it seems...but i seem to think I can't.

Or really I seem to think it somewhat pointless. Because though I can wax poetic about it...and I do...I have no real idea what it's all about! I mean I know. But i don't REALLY know.

It became clear to me that the Leçon primaire was going to teach me the meaning of it.

Finally. But what until then? Am I to sit around and only wonder what it feels like to know no difference between A and B? I am restless. So I picked up a book.

***

People use love in two ways:

1. when they have no idea what the word means.

2. When they know exactly what the word means.

The Handbook reminds me:

"there aren't a few of you scattered through the land who are creatures of light and every one else is a lump of clay. you're all light beings."

"To love someone unconditionally is not to care who they are or what they do. Unconditional love, on the surface, looks the same as indifference."

***

I saw someone from a slightly shadowy past of mine...a stalker.
And I started wondering why I had to ever encounter this person, and reject him so vehemently. What was the lesson in that?

And I realized something.

Since I percieved that what he had to offer was dangerous, self-indulgent and offered no growth for myself and probably not for him either, I was able, once more, to add to my definition of what love isn't. Or was I?

BUT isn't all the love we seek in/on this world selfish? When someone we can't love proffers it...we are moved to reject it. And how. But if it were us proffering said love and were we rejected...we'd feel tremendously lost. So, love on our terms - i.e. we want what we want...by definition...is selfish

And yet is that not love still?

Then I realized with better understanding than when I said it before...it really is NOT love (even in this place and time) because it's all a PERCEPTION! We percieve Love to be something and it becomes that and only THAT satisfies us!!! Were we to percieve something else...something phantasmic - then thus it would lie! So, it seems the love we seek comes from us! We project it onto other people...see how they like it...and if they like it they project theirs onto us! And all parties can sleep at night.

Wouldn't it be easier to just project our own love onto ourselves?

So, it seems that when we change our point of view...all the love is our love...ALL of it! Even if it comes from a source we couldn't appreciate before. There is no selfish love. Because we are everything and Everything is what we choose to call Love, We, by way of 'pure logic', are Love.

The two levels of understanding...Above the Illusion - nothing is NOT love.
Under the Illusion - somethings are NOT love. By which we realize that love is not some things.

***

The problem lies with the fact that everything ABOVE the illusion is inaccessible if you don't know what Love really is!
Oi.

Solitary

I cannot stop learning...I must be prepared for everything that I have learnt up until this point to be turned upon its head, in order to learn better.

***

Why do I feel heartsick? Why when there is no reason or rhyme to it...do I feel that way?

I wonder, do the enlightened feel heartsick? Ever?

"The first step in de-hypnotyzing yourself is to realize that you've been hypnotized in the first place."

***

As I lay on the bed...staring at the screen, trying to understand what I was meaning...I heard indistinctly but surely vedic chanting. As if it were all around me. But far enough away that I could only make out scattered words. Even now as I sit up...I hear it faintly...Om Devayanada, Paramananda||

How bewitchingly divine!

I notice that I am more equanimous than ever before in my life. It is but to remind myself that I was not always like this! I of the short-temper. I of the long doldrums. I of the never content!
I am become calm!

Even in contrast to a few weeks ago....where before, whenever I'd experience an emotion like anger or any shreds of the ego...I'd find myself chiding myself. I find that, now, if I do flare up...and sometimes it happens - when people say insensitive things and do things that can ruin a months worth of hard work, I find myself quickly shifting the focus to 'What was that spozed to teach me? Was that a test?' And it makes it so much easier to forget to be angry and sad or embarrassed or disappointed or even better realize what that emotion is hinting at. And even though sometimes I do feel affected by the emotion...it passes perhaps quicker now, that instead of losing patience with myself I am left marveling at how many things there are to learn and how little it takes to learn them.

***

Why do we have problems?
So we can get their gifts. Their beautifully packaged lessons.

Can death separate us?
Nope, Nada.

What's a nation for?
A nation is a deluded sense of identity, taken a step further. It may or may not be a group of people with similar goals...which may or may not degenerate over time when people who are in command may or may not understand those original goals. All in all it is a manner for people/thoughts to understand the nature of other thoughts better. Learn lessons from others by example those they perhaps wouldn't learn at all by themselves. Practise what they've learnt. Or learn many things all at once.

If I've lived before, why have I forgotten?
"What you knew before you were born isn't lost. You only hide it till you're tested, till it's time to remember. And sure enough, when you want you'll find some odd funny beautiful way to find it again."

Why does music affect us the way it does?
The universe is made in vibration. Symphonies. Music. I think it is in tune with some deeper vibration...some inner harmony, something primally vibrant. The Is. The Is and me, we are both vibrations. Everything is a vibration. Music has a palpable vibration. So we gravitate towards it. I can describe the effect of some music on me being - like the Universe opens up.
Music can bring us closer to the underlying vibrations of the Is. Music can bend to fit the vibrations we vibrate at. Low or High. So there are vibrations that relate to the symphony of all and then there are those...that relate to the symphony of a few. In the end we are all vibrations and can vibrate at the same level. The level of the Parabrahman. All the time! We have only to realize it.

How how beautiful! Thank you PC for having elicited it like that! It dove-tails so beautifully with what The String Theory proclaims (to me) - We are but strings...strings of different vibrations...but our nature...it is one!

***

"You chose us for your teachers? We chose you too! You care about what you're learning? We care too! You think we're in your life because you love us? Can't you understand? We love you, too!"

I don't know if what happened last night was all me or if it was really what I thought it was, what it felt like. It seemed like an unfolding. I thought there would be a way to find out today...except the call never came and now I think I am mad. Atleast it made me happy. Last night.

"The creative, loving-something life is also the healthy one. There is healing and protection in doing what makes you happy."

***

I have had the sincerest response to my meanderings today and i think needed it...

"A master who thinks he is a master, is a fool."

There is nothing worse than spiritual arrogance...PC - thank you so much for delivering that to me. You realize that if you go too far...on that road believing your truth and yours alone to be the true way...then you can get away from a whole lot of things but come full circle with arrogance. i think i was on the brink of forgetting, just about to forget that there isn't just the one way and PC showed up...and reminded me...ever so subtly.

And i admit. i was embarrassed, absolutely embarrassed. But it was worth it. If i felt this way then it was worth it...to feel this way if only to remind me that it was OK to believe something else. Emotion isn't at all bad, when you realize what it is there for.

If only to remind me that the reasons i come up with are mine alone. My truth is my own and other people are free to reject it! i cannot be attached to their rejections. Or their acceptance.

i didn't even realize fully how much i must've been struggling with this...the "Highest truth". The many truths. The many ways. It only now becomes clear to me. Fully revealed. It is one thing to tolerate other beliefs and a whole other to realize that it is possible that all the ways/beliefs/truths are completely valid and not just that but they are the same even in their differences.

Kahlil Gibran said...My truth is just a truth...my way is not the only way, but a way.

Just as right and wrong are subjective, so are the various truths!

It is funny when we were talking about, PC and i...i was talking subjectively about lessons learnt...how everyone has their own lessons to learn...how much i have learnt from some people, but i wish i could teach them more. i must've been feeling like some arrogance at this...becoz looking back on the conversation...i can see that the deflatement card...wasn't meant for me...but it WAS meant for me because i chose to see it that way!

And it was to point out specifically the lesson i learnt today.

For today i learnt a great deal...i have been wondering if i am not encroaching on other people's lessons. They have their own truths...only and only when you are asked for the advice...must it be rendered...otherwise it becomes useless. And so far i have only proffered my thoughts for the sake of conversation. Never as advice, up until this evening. Now i see the folly. And now i know why...not because i can't help, but because i don't NEED to help.

This was my own understanding of the events. Whether or not they were to stand for something else...they stood for that, for me in that moment.

And in that moment i learned a life lesson. When i was least expecting it.

All day i had been a tad restless. Last night had a lot to do with it. And everytime something around me changed perceptibly...i would try to understand it, Was that a lesson? Was that a test? Smack dab in the middle of a conversation that was strolling through fair grounds...I found the lesson handed to me. Tin foil cap, et al.

Thus, it was that I realized I was trying to convince myself that my way was the best way for me and in that process I convinced myself that someone elses way was not. But what really made it bad was that I put that reason away for a time when they might ask me again. For what??? For when I might undermine another persons way?? For shame!

I must poke and prod. But it is for my benefit alone! It is my truth and as others are free to reject mine, I am free to reject theirs!

And by this way I came to : The ETERNAL TRUTH IS ETERNAL BUT IS True in DIFFERENT WAYS!

Hearts and Minds

If you are above the Illusion...understand it and its reasons.
If you are still under it...learn from it.

Under the Illusion eg: If every event we bring to ourselves...what is the purpose of the events we seem to have no control over? That seem like an injustice? Can it be they are to be learned from? They can show us the extent of our powers. How powereful we might be, how much good we might do. To prove to ourselves that the lessons were well learned. To prove we can graduate.

***

"Listen to your answers even if they are mad, so long as they are your highest truth."

"No matter how qualified or deserving you are, you will never reach a better life until you can imagine it for yourself, and allow yourself to have it."

It tells me this repeatedly, I find. I must let myself love.

***

I have been having doubts about it all. about W.
I am afraid, no doubt there.

But the things I am afraid of...they seem unusual. They warn me with examples from the past and how easily I am decieved. And if I think about it I can see why this is a rogue emotion, fear. But I don't know how to shake the feeling. They are my old fears of misunderstanding that which is love to not be love and vice versa. Of using ill-understood vibes to shape my actions.

I am torn between trying to make sense of the past and living my present to its real potential - which is unlimited, the way I see it clearly, at times when doubt and fear are absent.

Yet, the delusion works both ways...somedays, for the life of me I can't figure out what I ought to trust...the lessons from the past or the strength of what I feel (regardless of fear and doubt). The delusion overpowers me and I feel confused.

If anyone had asked me I'd have said I wanted to be singular with respect to love. That it was the single most important thing. I want it all for myself. I want to be the one for the one I choose/chose. I want perfect complementarity. I want that.

And anything that threatens this perfect fit - I am deathly scared of. For it throws into question everything I have been able to learn of what it is not. It negates the lessons...

It all starts the same way...same same but different! And thence the confusion. When it all starts so familiarly...and degenerates variously I am distraught.

Usually...I am unaware of any attraction and when I am for a while I try to destroy the idea that anyone can like me. Then slowly as I come around, the person who I percieved the attraction first from has grown out of it, tired of the resistance. And thence it devolves.

I am afraid eventhough I see this NOT happening with W so far...

The immortality of love is proclaimed and I know it to be immortal myself. Its reasons are obfuscated. The fear, sometimes it sneers that I am wrong. Mortal things are not everlasting. neither are emotions...no matter what fancy ideas I may have of love...it is still an emotion on this plane and I am deluding myself.

Perhaps, I miss the point of love sometimes. I think I confuse it with emotion too readily. But I think that is the acid-test in my arsenal...if doesn't feel like what I felt the few times I have been in the presence of Pure, Unconditional, All-delugin, All-pervasive Love, as when in P-----, then THEN it is an emotion. It is not unrestricted. It is not untainted by emotions that hurt.

And whenever I encounter these feelings...I am torn...am I to trust them or distrust them? What will be my guide to it, then? Thankfully, at hand I have a book that is helping by and by to understand it. But it fails where experience is needed. And that I await.

***

What I yearn for is the Love above Illusion. I want a taste of what the love feels like, how it is to be tapped and then I want it all.

***

"Your character grows from following your highest sense of right, from trusting ideals without being sure they'll work."

"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."

No Fear for Love is the ideal. W was missing today was the problem, later came the gift?
Yoi.

Adrift

Show me love and I'll show you what I can do with it.

***

Two things, for reference...

"We listen for what we expect and tune out the rest. It is the same with seeing. Is it the same with other senses? Do we feel only what we expect and all the rest we tune out? Is it then possible to sink so low, to tune out our senses so completely that we become aware of something else?"

"We create problems so we can fight. If fighting wasn't a way to learn we wouldn't need it."

***

W. I know you already, and yet I am more eager to know you than I have ever been with anyone else. I know with you I can be above jealousy and disgust. And other emotions.
I know I can know you as the person who initiates the flow of unconditional love.
I like you already...preconditions are met.

Sometimes I am afraid. I decieve...ALWAYS I am afraid. I fear that it won't be everything I have been imagining, or told it will be, somehow it will fall short. I am afraid to be shot of this one thing that I have long looked for. I am afraid of relearning this treasure. It is unduly painful. The separation would be agony unlike any. And to start over would mean I would have to search for you all over again. And I cannot be sure I won't miss you next time.

So, I am trying not to be afraid with you. From you, all of the time, I feel no reason to be afraid. Eventhough, there are times when parts of me worry about what I am going to be able to give to you...you, of many strengths and I of few. Because I know very little of you as you are now, I am racked with pain and fleeting jabs of jealousy, these will pass, I am sure. With ignorance comes emotion. I am ignorant yet.

I am restless to know you. To be deprived this one thing I have wanted, it seems almost for an eternity, endlessly, is holding me back. I am sure you need me with such force for some purpose. I will assure you. I will be whatever you tell me to be. I will be yours if that is what is required to stop the torrent of silly emotions that are confused with love, and be the real thing with you.

If you are to know this, then I am to tell you these things.

***

Evolution was made clear today. Atleast as we know it on Earth.
It was the birth of a thought on this platform...from its essences came greater and greater leaps into the realm of knowledge. And as thoughts perfected themselves, it became a platform for experiencing cardinal knowledge as well as the antithesis of higher enlightenment.
For if we are to know what we are...we must sometimes/always know what we are not.

***

The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.

Walkabout

I am a traveller. My various skills are those of one who travels in search of something. Minimalist. Adaptable. Possessions I carry are the ones I value most. Skills I own are for my singular and definite purposes.

***

As I think, around me things change...however subtley, however profoundly. I feel as if in and around me there is a spreading light, people I know and come to accept in my life are more accessible to me, they are thought-worthy peers. The ones I am most comfortable growing with.

More and more I find myself on the outside of conversations of which I am a part socially. Watching quietly as the superficial me continues its little rambles. I am perhaps more fully myself only when I am having a delving spiritual discussion. At all other times I feel unwilling to initiate conversation that is meaningless to me.

It is curious that having felt this way for as long as I have been alive its purport only now becomes clear. The 'outsider'. The 'introvert', 'shy', 'socially inept', etc etc. I can control these tendencies better now, I have grown to understand them. I am able on initiative to talk aimlessly. But it doesn't mean I want them to be a part of me. I understand fully why my being tends towards truer meaning now, even if it were inapparent to me, earlier, why I was so 'damaged', it has made itself abundantly clear.

***

Yesterday...as I talked to Andy, I realized why I was to share the momentous dream with him as I did. Eventhough, it was not him...it was his face, I was to tell him it was him. He told me yesterday he'd been questioning the nature of the human aspiration and what we can and can't achieve. And he was wondering whether Godliness was achievable, whether there was anything we couldn't achieve. And whence my multifaceted dream came along...it solved his quandary for him. It answered his question, appeased my queries and satisfied my parents hearts.

Me and Andy we have fought our young lives with each other...and ofcourse I had often wondered why I had him as a brother. I don't even know how I wondered that when I didn't know that we got to choose the people in our lives. It was on such occasions, as full of strife and anger as they were, that I'd remember the first few years after he was born...I was devoted to him. Absolutely and completely smitten. I would play with him in singularity. I would teach him. Gradually as he grew older...he did everything I did...as most siblings do...and sometimes it ired me and others it made me proud to be of some use. And so it continues on till this date...he denies it however, very vehemently, my effect on him...it's his subconcious that accepts me completely as a template.

And I begin to understand why he was to be this close to me...be my brother.... in the first place...were it that either me or him had forgotten what it was to know the Is...the other would be there, ever-ready...to be the guide back.

Finally. We can now grow together as we were meant to!

***

Thinking by nature is not desirous. You don't think because of desires. You may think inspite of them.

The Moth

I am determined to know...thus I try to delve into it completely without inhibition.
And know what I know so far,

It is not disappointment.
It is not ephemeral.
It is not unsatisfying.
It is not compromising.
It is not insecurity.
It is not insignificant.
It is not 'thought' of.
It is not a belief.
It is not to be envied.
It is not of the jealous.
It is not sorry.
It is not bound.
It is never without joy.
It is never weak.
It is never misunderstood.
It is never not knowing.
It is never without experience.
It is never without trust.
It is never with boundaries.
It is ever without rules.
It is forever steady.
It never wavers.
It never settles.
It never sways.
Ever fulfilling.
It is ever understood.
It is ever a rhythm.
It is ever a tune.
It is ever acknowledged true.
It is for the weak as it is for the strong.
It is forever shared and never withdrawn.
It spreads and spreads until there is nowhere that it is not.
It taints all pure.
It is my nature.
It is for me to know.
It is forever felt.
It is ever the music that maketh the soul.
It ever blinds and it ever carries all that it is to know.

It is alone powerful and everything else - its shadow.

And this is all I know...restless am I to know you as I want to...let me see Thou!

joie de re-découverte!

I woke up today answering questions in my subconciousness.
Questions I was asking as I slept! And I was in the process of answering them as I awoke...continued answering them until...I was satisfied.

I am amazed...I've had this happen to me once before...it was contexted in some thought I can't recall now. In other cases there was atleast not any sense to it. I have often revised material for exams in my head while asleep...it was ofcourse not the material to be revised because it was more made up than real and so never have I asked or answered Qs with any retentive clarity in my subconcious.

***

Yesterday as I did some thing or the other...I couldn't shake this feeling like I knew something deeper about me from far ago. And as I curiously probed it...it explained itself rather vaguely.
It left me feeling newer and younger...like this world was new to me. I wasn't always of this place...infact I was very newly of this place...as if it was recommended for what I yearned to learn. And all of a sudden I felt some generations pass over me...very vaguely...not yet re-accessible. These were the other lessons I had learnt...having forgotten to access them, continuously.

But I have accustomed myself well with this life...it bores me not...no no I have endless fascination for it and endless enchantment by it. But I am unfamiliar with its ways. Much unfamiliar with its varied emotions...for there are marked periods in my life when I didn't know what I was feeling, from something as basic as anger...to something as deep as resentment. It had to be explained to me.

***

The answer to these questions came to me while I was having a conversation with PC and it surprised me how easily I expounded on these, without even a thought to it...as if I had known this for much time...

What is intuition? Why are we attracted to certain people?
When the accumulated knowledge of everything past starts to become clearer...you see what intuition really is...it is what you learned 'many ages' ago...and remembered, it is hard separated from you, unless you so want it.

As with intuition so with attraction...one chooses to meet certain people in their lives for their ability to teach us the bigger lessons...sometimes they become known to us as soulmates. These were the ones we chose to learn the most important lessons with/from. And to find the chosen...we set clues about them...such as a quality we much value in our non-human forms. And as we become of this world...we deliberately forget things learned before, much important to us otherwise...for e.g. the ability to create music of a certain kind...so that this quality becomes immediately appealing in the chosen who were to display it while here, now, when we first meet them.

And there you have it. In complementarity one finds a deeper sense.

***

Strong intuition and a strong concience have swayed my hand wrongly on occasion and I had become too wary to use them.

I had felt several years ago...that my talents left me. This, I have a feeling, I believed only because it was told to me that once beyond a certain age we forget to do what we know how to do initially. I fought it at first...but it seemed I had succumed to the greater force of heresy and by and by my talents failed. Or they seemed flaggard. Now I look back and I see - only was I more embroiled in the world and less in the knowledge I already knew. It was as if now was the time I was to unfold to myself my abilities - much more clearly.

For am I not capable of everything??? I am and I have been.

Thus, it lies with me now...I know it in a short while I shall be master of what I knew before...and not just on this here planet...but from many ages ago and also be a master of what I didnot know at all...because this is what I mean to do now and therefore I am meant to do it.

For it seems to me - lost knowledge that I had gained returned to me timely...as it seems my purpose on earth is about to come to a head.

***

As long as there are thoughts that want to come to earth...there will be an earth...no matter how many times over we destroy it. For it is but a stage...another...a better will be built.

***

No one can change anyone's mind if they don't want to change it themselves...because they want to do what they want to do...exercise their so called free will with their discretion....and thus it is that that much touted ability is lost in insubstantials...but its like telling an obstinate dog to stop wagging its tail...it doesn't understand what you mean by 'stop wagging' it can't control the wagging...can it?

No matter how you tell them that this world is ephemeral...since they can comprehend nothing else...there IS nothing else. And their life has whatever meaning they want to impart upon it.

They may believe that it is their destiny to be enthralled by all that happens around them...that eventuality will lead to cognizance...but without a yearning for the cognizance all you are is a paper doll in the wind thinking you're making yourself dance. Which you are...but you also don't know how to stop...so there lies the quandary.

***

I often wondered how was it that I was not affected by the world at large while I was still young. It astonished me - such apathy from myself. So whence I parted from my parents for school, I learned the essential skills of mining the news portals. It was gay times as I stored the knowledge, revised it and updated it with friends. It was pure factoid discussion we embroiled in.

It didn't last long...this so called 'love' affair. A few months at best. So then after having cared and found nothing for it I was back where I started, none the richer, apparently.

By and by, I got to contemplating it more deeply...I know I cared...but never enough. I keep up with the news...but more often than not...it bores me. It seems to me that people care too much. They care too much about everything that happens to them and people they care about...they care TOO MUCH. And this wouldn't be half bad if even half of them realized what the purpose of caring was for.

As I pondered this, I realized that this was exactly how I'd felt before, and without knowing the why...I thought I had become apathetic.

Now it becomes apparent why I feel it so poignantly...it doesn't matter. The imaginings of bits of Imagination causing so called chaos or spreading love...it was a way for the lessons.

However slowly we may progress along them...sometimes inch along...sometimes stall altogether and sometimes...at rare times make progress in leaps and bounds.

In reality what we feel here and think here and take from here...has nothing to do with the reality of now...for it is also a thought. It can be created anew...if we so wanted. If we so realized that we could.

***

There was the oppurtunity to voluteer to help inner city kids with education, and though I have never been extremely motivated to do these things...I agreed and persevered and started to enjoy it. Immensly.

However, in quiet moments of reflection it seemed off somehow. I never bothered to analyze it then...dismissing it as unfamiliarity with people/general social awkwardness...but as it turns, on recent contemplation, it was utterly selfishness I was feeling.

This businesss of helping...I was gaining something. I realized it was making me happy to help someone else. It was making ME happy.

Hopefully it benefitted other people, helped them be happy or feel less unable to do things. I was serving to serve...no doubt...but I would've sooner left off were it that I did not collaterly benefit from this arrangement. And How.

It came to pass, that slowly this selfish feeling passed out of me and I was working because I was helping...and I cared.

So, it fell that even as the focus shifted from gaining personally from the acts I began to feel moved and slowly the feeling grew until I felt unnecessarily involved. Attached.

Yet, with this so called attachment came no 'unbound love'... flowing endlessly from my heart to them. I couldn't find this feeling of love everyone talked about, there was complacence and there was caring and respect and compassion and there was need to empower, but love I did not feel.
And I began to rethink my service motives. And as I did I learned not to worry about the love. Just do. Do the best I could.

For a while this comforted me as a feeling that I was truly doing service with detachment. Karma was me.

Folly, thou comest in mirthful ways!

I had striven to continue on...that way - on the mistaken path that I thought represented Karma...until the realization hit me...I was attached...possibly not to the results but to the people! I did care how they used the advice! Yet there was no LOVE!

Was this was how I missed my chance to know what it was to love unconditionally, everything?

But how would I know what love is, when clearly, though I seek it, it escapes me? If my whole life was intended to learn it and my whole being yearns to know it, then why do I keep missing it? Do I need to be shown what it is that love is?

And I have been...by B---, but I lose it the second I lose sight of him. It is as if he opens up the floodgates...and lets it all in...but the second he leaves...I forget what it was that I was feeling...just peace and calm remain and I can't keep the gates open myself...hec I don't even know where they ARE!

***

It comes slowly to me why once you can change the events of the world and can stop them and turn them around, there is no need to...there is a caveat.

For how else would we learn (however slowly we might be) what we were here to learn, were everything changed? We wouldn't want them to be twisted any other way, though it feel differently now.

Maybe it'd be nice if it were sped up; and if the lessons, the PERSPECTIVE made a little bit clearer. And yet when presented to us, a vast majority of us look the other way. Forgetting we CHOSE this for ourselves...forgetting the whys and the hows...only feeling the effects in the nows...and getting indelibly embroiled in them.

Greater still is the misfortune of us forgetting that the learning process was for a purpose. Forgetting the purpose...becoming hopelessly enjoined in the world as we know it then.

And thus it comes to pass...that anyone who shows the slightest interest in uplifting the general mood of things on this planet...the general SQ (spiritual quotient), fails miserably or becomes martyred.

Not because 'The One' didn't know what he/she was talking about...but their thoughts became so steeped by their followers in the reality of now...that the masses, they forgot to look at the advice critically and decided that the best that could be done is live their lives goodly. As nice people. Learning little, imparting little...returning to the same lessons over and over again. Slowly stumbling through the answers that make no sense the first 20 million times.

And growing ever so minuscle-ly every time.

Thus, though came the messiahs to tell us..."Look! hurry up...the fun stuff hasn't even begun yet! You can be like me. God-like!", little heed was paid.

Instead their voices were shaped by the ignorant...they were proclaimed God. Inaccesible. Unreachable. Supremely Peerless. Unmatchable. And then martyred either on wood, painting or in pages.

'Tis sad that all they were moved by was love. For they wanted really only to help...and yet apparently they left having given advice on how not to cheat on one's spouses and how not to have sex.

Such advice... for the ages apparently...is what was retained.